


Smile For The Paparazzi

by Swing Set in December (swing_set13)



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:23:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6029340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swing_set13/pseuds/Swing%20Set%20in%20December
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strike while it's hot - there ain't that much room at the top.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile For The Paparazzi

**Author's Note:**

> My first SpideyTorch and it's probably terrible. But I wanted to do something for [SpideyTorch Week 2016](http://spideytorchweek.tumblr.com/) running February 15-21! 
> 
> Day 1: Identity - Secret identities, double identities, identity confusion - give us that identity porn, or ruminate on what the differences in their superhero statuses means for them.

"Did you hear? Peter Parker is dating Spider-Man?"

Johnny feels like the sun went out. He knows Sue is still talking but everything is hollow and muted. Like he's stuck in molasses. Or that weird foam that Reed breaks out when he almost goes supernova.

"What?" he says abruptly, everyone at the kitchen table look at his oddly. Clearly he was spacing out more than a second because Valeria is rolling her eyes and Franklin has eaten all his pancakes.

"I said, Reed's finished the new flight suits," says Sue patiently.

"No," Johnny croaks out. "The other thing."

Sue looks a bit lost. Before looking down at the newspaper that Ben brought in earlier this morning. _Spider-Menace preys on New York Photographer._ Johnny belatedly wonders why Ben even buys The Bugle at all.

"Oh, Peter Parker, remember that nice boy from Middletown? He's dating our Spider-Man," says Sue with a knowing look. Like she's proud that Spider-Man found a nice boy to settle down with.

Johnny can't breath. It's worse than the time he flew too close to outer space. Or when Doom ruined his Gucci suit.

He just lost his chance with two of the hottest guys on the planet in one morning, present company excluded. He didn't even know Peter liked guys. What the hell was going on?

***

Peter makes a point to not read the news. Which may come as a surprise to someone who works for a lead media outlet. But really. He's in the business. So he knows that most of what is out there is liable. Slander on the other hand is what J. Jonah Jameson does to his staff. Especially when Peter made the mistake of saying he was dating Spider-Man when Gwen Stacy and MJ Watson stopped by with plans on setting him on a blind date. It was a joke. But then Jameson overheard. And now, it was all over the 24-hour news cycle.

So it wasn't a surprise he gets kidnapped the moment he steps out of his apartment.

Really. It was just the cherry on the melted sundae that is his life right now.

***

Johnny can't believe it. He rescues Peter Parker. Spider-Man nowhere to be found. He thought Spidey was a stand up guy. Johnny gets kidnapped at least once a month and Spidey saves him. Peter gets kidnapped once and nadda. What does that say about Spidey? Talk about a terrible boyfriend. Johnny though he knew Spidey. Thought he was an upstanding guy. But apparently The Daily Bugle finally reported something right about the not so friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

"I got you," says Johnny as he gently removes the zip ties around Peter's wrists and ankles. 

"My hero," replies Peter who looks like he swallowed a lemon. Probably still sore that Spider-Man didn't man up and rescue him. Trouble in paradise. 

"Hey now, there's other fish in the sea," says Johnny and places a comforting hand on Peter's shoulders as he helps him to his feet.

"What?" asks Peter who looks more bewildered about the conversation than the chaos around them. There's literally a vat of acid not five feet away from them. 

"I mean," coughs Johnny, it really is just the fumes that are making him flush. "I'd rescue you any day," he ends up saying with one of his more charming smiles, if he does say so himself.

"I'm concussed, right? This is the concussion talking?" says Peter in confusion. "There's no way this is happening."

Johnny frowns in irritation. "Hey now, is it that unbelievable that I like you? I mean Spider-Man may have an ass that doesn't quit but at least I'm dependable. I'd even rescue you from outer space. And that's one of my least favourite places to go."

Peter just stares at him.

"What?" Johnny says, crossing his arms self-consciously.

"You're jealous! Of Spider-Man!" Peter sounds hysterical. Maybe he's in shock. Johnny knows that happens to civilians. It probably wasn't a good idea to woo him this close to an industrial vat of acid. 

"Maybe you should sit down," suggests Johnny.

"Unbelievable!" says Peter with a shake of his head before he winces in pain. 

"More like fantastic-"

"Don't!" says Peter holding up a finger. "Just- I can't believe this is my life right now!"

And with that Peter Parker storms away. Johnny's left with admiring the view. A very familiar view.

"Hey- wait!"

Goddammit, he'd know that ass anywhere. "Peter! _Spidey_!"

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on my [tumblr](http://swingsetindecember.tumblr.com/).


End file.
